


I'll Be Here

by Highwaytono



Series: Coping Mechanisms [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Character Analysis, Coping Mechanisms, Healthy ones at that, I just heard the song and had to write, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9565007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highwaytono/pseuds/Highwaytono
Summary: Have you ever heard a song and thought: Yeah, I was definitely the target audience for this.That's what Kent thinks the first time he hears Tears by Clean Bandit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey kiddos! Ever wondered how a almost real life representation of Kent Parson gets over someone they once had intense feelings for? No? Well, you're gonna learn today! Coping Mechanisms!~ That's right, this one is a little more healthy though. 
> 
> Listening to a break-up song on repeat till you believe it! Mhmm, mhmm. I know what you're thinking: wooooow that's not actually a coping mechanism! But I'll raise you this, which one of us is a Psychology Major? (Shout out to us, we are the medium wrecks. We know how to make finals better with what we know, but most of us are just masochists.) 
> 
> But yeah, I heard this song the other day and I understand.

Kent was driving when he heard the first verse.

“I tried hard to make you want me  
But we're not supposed to be  
And the truth will always haunt me  
Even though it set me free  
And my tears flow like the ocean  
As they floated in the breeze  
They were falling in slow motion  
And they brought me to my knees”

He pulled over immediately. 

“Hey Siri, what is the name of this song?” He asks, voice shaking slightly. The music continues along around him, reverberating against the parked car.

“The song is Tears By Clean Bandit.”

“Thank you Siri.” Kent waits till the song is over before he drives. He turns off the radio on the way home. His breaths are shaky so he starts breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. A song hasn’t struck him this way in a while. It caught his emotions off guard. 

Kent parks his car in front of his condo and takes a few deep breaths. The way he’s dealt with his feelings in the past haven’t been all that “productive” as his therapist says, and Lacie is a smart lady so he listens to what she says. 

\--------

“This might sound odd, but hear me out. Any time something is on the radio, you see a picture, or you smell something that makes you feel positive write it down on your phone. Keep a list of them so anytime that you don’t feel at least 70% you can find something to feel better.” 

“What if nothing makes me feel positive?” Kent slouches deeper into his chair. 

“Don't worry Kent, you'll find something. It may take some time, and that's natural.” Lacie smiles. She really is a nice woman, she puts up with Kent when he's down after all. Kent takes out his phone and opens his notes. He types “Appointments with Lacie” and shows it to her.

“That's a start. Thank you, Kent.”

\-----------------

Kent walks into the darkness of his condo. He’s alone at the moment because his mom hasn't had time to bring Kit back, so the quiet hum of electronics is all he hears. He falls down onto his couch and pulls his phone in front of him. He opens it and types the song into google. The music fills the room. 

“Ooh, you're haunting me, taunting me, you're all in my brain  
You turn off the light and I wonder the maze  
Fills me with doubt and I'm shouting your name out loud  
Why do you wanna put me through the pain?!  
Now I get the feeling I'll never escape  
I can't hide away from the shade with you

Tears on the ground,  
Tears on my pillow,  
You won't bring me down  
And I'll get over you  
These tears will get me through  
And I'll get over you”  
And Kent knows. He knows that it’s over and that it’s all in his head, but he feels as though the lyrics still ring true. He feels as though he’ll nve escape this, that he will always be in pain, that crying is the only thing he can do anymore. Even so, in the back of his brain a voice is saying the chorus, that he will get over “you” and the tears will only help. He takes his time listening to the song and after a few more plays he takes the songs advice. He curls into a ball, hugs a pillow close, and lets his tears help him through.

\-----------

He ends up falling asleep there, the quiet enveloping him. He feels almost calm when he wakes, but his brain is always there to remind him. He remembers the way things were, the way they were what seems like a million years ago now. The good times and then the bad. He really tries not to focus on that time so much anymore. Lacie said that his fixation is what is unhealthy. If he can find other things to fixate on then eventually he can be up to 70%. Kent really wants to be over it and to fixate on hockey, his team, anything else really. His brain has other ideas.

So, he plays the song again. 

“When did you lose all your emotion?  
When did you become so cruel?  
And if you want to cut me open  
This says a thousand words about you

And in time I know you'll leave me  
Like a distant memory  
I know love can be so easy  
If I start by loving me, oh”

He tries to fixate on the last two lines, nothing was done to him on purpose. Lacie talked it out with him. Kent knows that bad things just kept happening and that's just the way life happens sometimes. He wants to believe that. He wants to be a better person than who he was. He wants to be happy without thinking about the things in the past. 

Kent wants to be able to love himself again. Hopefully he can one day, but the process will take time and effort. He is willing to do that, for himself.

“I don't need you to call me tonight  
I don't need you to save from my mind  
You left me, so leave me, I'm fine  
I'll be here, getting along with my life.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on Tumblr:  
> Highwaytono.tumblr.com


End file.
